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A Joyous Divorce



A woman was married for many years to her husband, but had not had children. Her husband decided to divorce her, so he went to Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai, of blessed memory.

Rabbi Shimon told him that just as they celebrated with joy their mutual bond when they got married, so should the severance of their mutual bond be celebrated in joy.

The husband therefore prepared a great feast, at the height of which he called his wife and asked her in his joy to choose whatever she desired of his possessions to be hers, and said that he would not refuse her anything.

What did she do? She served him so much wine that he got drunk and fell asleep on his bed. She then told her servant to take him on his bed into her bedroom in her father's house.

The following morning, when he awoke and found himself in his wife's home, he asked her why he was brought there -- wasn't it clear that he intended to divorce her? She replied, "Didn't you tell me that I could take whatever I wanted? I desire not gold, nor silver, nor precious gems, nor pearls. All I want is you. You yourself are the sole object of my desire."

When the husband heard this, he became once again enamored of his wife, and took her back as before. And in this merit, the Holy One, blessed be He, granted them children.


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Midrash Rabbah, Shir HaShirim 1

Excerpted from The Mystery of Marriage by Rabbi Yitzchak Ginsburgh


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Latest Comments:
Posted: June 15, 2008
Joyous Divorce
Anonymous of KC, ks, you couldn't have spoken any more perfectly what I've been feeling and living for the last 2 years. Last night my hubby of 20 years, in a drunken state as per usual on the weekends, handed me his decision to get a divorce so he could move on with his life. After all, "if you're crazy enough to follow Judaism, then you're crazy enough to go out and buy a gun and start shooting people!" -- his words...

Grieving in Michigan
Posted By Anonymous, Sterling Heights, MI/USA

Posted: May 24, 2008
Joyous Divorce
Wouldn't it be grand if the husband had the same desire for his wife that she--from this posting--clrearly had for her husband...too often the wife is put aside in our society by the husband looking to 'fulfill his desire' with little regard for the other members of his family...by "fulfill his desire" i include, all aspects that take him away from the wife and children in which 'his' needs are more valued consciencely or not, than that of the family; drunkeness, workisms, affairs etc...

thus far it appear that one of the commentors is male while the blessing of the other commentors are female...men get it together...this from a male who grew up taking his father's role early in life because he chose not to be with his family...what a shame and deep sadness it is for me while i think about some very dear friends who have divorced this year.
Posted By Anonymous, Kansas City, ks
via jewishku.com

Posted: Feb 16, 2008
Joyous Divorce
As a divorce attorney, as well as having gone through a divorce myself, I found this story to be absolutely BEAUTIFUL. I am going to share it with all my new clients. Sure its not a way to make money, but I approach my practice with the idea that the money isnt everything. I have done things that have actually saved a few marriages since I started my practice. I agree with the anonymous poster from Brooklyn--I too live with the guilt of depriving our daughters of a home with 2 loving parents. But in the past two years I have done everything I can to make amends with their mom and to at least give them two parents who have become good friends (not to mention that we only live 2 miles apart) . We now do many things together as a family and I am hoping that this year, for the first time since 1999, we will all be together for the Passover Seder.
Posted By Marc D. Goldberg, Esq., Los Angeles, CA



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